If you've been following me, you probably know I touched on the idea of insta-love a bit in my post Writing Romance Without Being Cheesy, but I want to go a bit more in depth with it today.
So, what exactly is insta-love? Well, if you look around, different people define it different ways, but there is a consensus that it revolves around the idea of love at first sight. For the purposes of this post, insta-love is when two characters consider themselves in love after having only spent a maximum of 24-hours in each other's presence.
And if we are honest, this happens a lot in literature. It's popping up everywhere in YA literature but even in other places. I mean, ever heard of Romeo and Juliet? That is the classic insta-love story. Why is it everywhere? In my opinion, because it's easy. Sure, some people genuinely think it's cute and romantic, but the fact is writing insta-love is quick and to the point. You get to skip all the inbetween stuff (you know, the part where they are getting to know each other) and jump from seeing each other across the room to soulmates.
But the inbetween, the stuff that's being skipped over is the most important part of a love story. Why are we leaving this out?
Before you add some insta-love into your story, give some thought to these points which usually make insta-love hard to appreciate.
1. Many times, authors write as if insta-attraction = insta-love
I can understand insta-attaction. It's not hard to believe that people might have some kind of attraction to one another after hanging out for the first time. But love? That's where you start to lose me. I'll believe they enjoyed each others' company, want to hang out again sometime, but I'm not about to believe they are in love. That's going a little too far. You love people you know, you don't love people you talked to once.
2. With insta-love, it's hard to believe these people are in love for any reason other than that they are both hot
It's sad but true. Two hot people meet. Bam! They're in love. They meet once and for the rest of the book, they don't stop thinking about each other and spend the rest of the book trying to find the person they know they love. Honestly, these people basically know nothing about each other. So they were charming the first time they talked. Maybe even the second time. But you can't really love someone you've had a few conversations with. Mostly it just seems the character is in love because the other person is physically appealing. Like, what other reason do they have? They don't know each other on a deeper level than what's on the outside. They haven't had the time to know each other that way.
3. Sharing one experience together isn't love
Sometimes, two people meet each other because they are stuck in the same situation. They are stuck in an elevator, next to each other on an airplane or hiding out during a storm and by the end of the experience, they are in love. Well, that's not really how love works. Falling in love is a bit more than a crush, or wanting to spend more time with someone. That can happen within a few hours. Falling in love doesn't happen quite so fast.
4. Insta-love is basically falling in love with a stranger
Admit it, that's kind of exactly what it is. If you don't know the person's flaws, fears, past, what makes them happy, sad, angry, laugh or cry, you don't really know this person. If your characters haven't had been with each other through thick and thin, helped them through tough situations, they don't know each other on a personal level and having them fall in love just seems ridiculous.
These are not all the reasons that insta-love doesn't always work well in a novel, but in my opinion, they are some of the biggest. A couple of other reasons that it's difficult to do realistically is because it doesn't set the stage for a long lasting relationship. As the couple finds out more about each other, not just their perfect hair, dazzling smile and charming conversation, they may drift apart. Until they see each other at their worst, they can't really know if they are in love. It's easy to be in love with someone who doesn't show their dark side when they are with you.
If your characters fall in love right away, they lack connection. And so do the readers. It's hard to understand why these characters are in love and we won't care when they break apart. Also, in many of the books I've read that involve insta-love, 90% of the book is the two characters yearning for the person they barely know and it's quite a turn off.
If you have a love story in your novel story, really think about it. Is it insta-love? How well do your characters actually know each other? It's not easy to write a captivating, realistic romance within a novel, even as a subplot. Using insta-love robs the reader of the love story and it's taking the easy way out. We want to know your characters and see that they know each other before they decide that they are soulmates.
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