Show, Don't Tell

For as long as I've been into writing, one of the pieces of advice I've heard the most is "Show, don't tell." And I think it's great advice. There's just one problem: I've never really heard people explain how to do it. Everyone's telling me to show and not tell, but no one is showing me how to show and not tell.

This is unfortunate for me because one of my struggles with writing is showing instead of telling. I try to do it but I never know if I've succeeded. As I write, I'm constantly thinking "Am I showing or telling? Did I show that right? How do I show this instead of tell it?"

For me, telling someone to show and not tell without telling them how to do that is like giving someone a math test without teaching them math. What are we supposed to do?

Obviously, I struggle with this aspect and if I struggle with it, somebody else probably does too. I wish I knew everything there was to know about showing and not telling, but, honestly, I need to read this information more than I need to write it. So, why am I writing it? Because I have to tackle it sometime.

So, obviously, when we talk about showing vs telling, we want the reader to see what we're talking about rather than just hear it. We need to be as vivid as possible without being too wordy, which is very challenging.

So, to get started, here is an example of showing vs telling.

Telling:  Mary was brunette.

Showing: Mary's hair cascaded down her back. It was a dark, rich color which reminded most people of  freshly melted chocolate or sitting in front of a fireplace with hot cocoa during the winter.

Though the description may be slightly overboard, hopefully you have an idea of what the goal is when talking about showing rather than telling if you didn't already. 

It's plain to see that those descriptions are different, but how are they different? What, exactly, sets them apart from each other? Verbs, adjectives, visual imagery. The difference is one is flatly telling you how things are, and the other one is describing it for you so you can see it yourself.

Descriptive language is how you show something. Instead of saying someone is tall, say they tower over everyone else. It gives your reader an image of what the person looks like. It all boils down to word choice. This is a great reason to write with a thesaurus next to you because synonyms have a way of livening up a scene. Don't say loud say ear-splitting. Don't say happy say delighted. Just changing one word is sometimes all it takes to show your readers what is happening rather than telling them.

In the above example, for the showing, I never said Mary's hair was brown, but you knew anyway. That's exactly what I mean; I literally never wrote that she had brown hair. I showed you. I described it so you could see it. I didn't have to say what color it was.

It might not seem like it's so difficult when you look at it like this, but it really is. When you apply it to your own writing, it becomes a real challenge. You have to make sure you're showing in every scene, that you're always being vivid and adding enough imagery without over-doing it. You can't be too wordy or flowery because that turns people off and if there's too many words then it confuses people and makes your storyline harder to follow.

One of my absolute favorite quotes about showing vs telling comes from Anton Chekhov: "Don't tell me moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." It really illustrates, for me, the difference between showing and telling. If you simply state the obvious, it's boring. Would you rather read a sentence such as:

"she threw herself onto her bed as the tears she'd been fighting all day finally escaped while she tried to stifle her sobs with a pillow,"

or a sentence like:

"when she got to her room, she started to cry."?

Both  sentences say the same thing, but one is showing you and the other is merely telling you. The second sentence is dull in comparison to the first. Even without being compared to anything, it's weak and doesn't have any descriptive language. It's as if we are hearing a story second-hand rather than watching it unfold ourselves. The first sentence, though, engages you by describing what is happening as it happens. It's not telling you that she cried, it's telling you how she cried.

Don't be black and white with your writing, be colorful. Adjectives and verbs are really helpful in this area because they paint the picture. But, as I said earlier, it's all about the word you choose. Angry is an adjective, but it's not nearly as descriptive as the adjectives irritated or enraged. Those give a much clearer idea of exactly what a character is feeling and paints a vivid picture for your reader.

I know that one of the reasons showing instead of telling is hard for me is because I can already see it all in my head. I see it without words and when I write that someone is happy, I don't feel the need to explain more because I already get it. I know my characters and my story and I don't have to describe it for myself. And it's hard to describe how it looks sometimes. Sometimes, you have such an exact picture in your mind of how something looks and none of the ways you describe it seem to do it justice. You just can't find the right words. It can be really, really difficult to be descriptive.

Painting a picture with words is a talent you have to work for. You're lucky if it comes naturally. But, if you work at it and achieve it, you can create a literary masterpiece.